How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work


Does holding on to the mantra “distance makes the heart grow fonder” begin to give you some doubts? If you’re troubled whether your long distance relationship will last long enough or not, you are not alone.

Everyday on the planet, millions and millions of people got no choice but to deal with being miles apart from their loved ones:

  • Executives on a string of offshore meetings, leaving their families behind for days
  • Soldiers fighting for freedom in a foreign land, with loved ones worrying about them back home
  • High school sweethearts pursuing college degrees in separate and distant universities
  • Overseas workers who can’t wait for their contracts to finish and be with their spouses and kids
  • Movie stars shooting abroad, feeling all alone once the filming lights turn off
  • Lovers who ran into each other online and awaiting for the day they meet each other physically

No matter who or what you are, no one is really excused when it comes to the obstacles posed by being in a long distance relationship. So, can long distance relationships work? Of course!

Snubbing naysayers

Like all those millions and millions of people above, I too once had to deal with a long distance relationship. The sad truth is no one really bothers to acknowledge the difficulties of keeping up a long distance relationship – people think it’s downright absurd and is bound for a breakup anyway.

You know what I mean if you are involved in such kind of a relationship: your parents, best friends, co-workers or classmates might have told you time and again that it’s never going to work. But that’s not true. In fact, there are a lot of things you can do to keep your long distance relationship fiery and strong.

Facing up to the challenge

Just think of it as a challenge. There’s a certain advantage to being miles away from your loved ones. Couples who got the advantage of meeting up with one another frequently somewhat fail to count their blessings after some time. But in your case, you have every reason to defy distance, to keep the connection alive, and to look forward to seeing each other like it’s the most important thing in the world!

Go on. Maintain the long distance relationship. Prove everybody wrong.

Thanks to the internet, keeping in touch with your sweetheart abroad is not as expensive as other modes of communication in the past. So there’s no reason for you to subscribe to that rubbish “distance makes the heart forget”! You can exchange e-mails, chat and call each other. You may send flying kisses via webcams or flood each other’s social networking site with sweet nothings!

Distance not a setback

Long distance relationships may sound unusual and challenging – but it’s not impossible! If you want to keep the relationship, then no one or nothing should persuade you to do otherwise – not your family and friends, and most especially not the distance.

Distance should not be the basis to end a relationship. Distance should be defied and considered as a test to make the bond stronger. You are not alone. I was once there. Millions and millions of people all around the world find it no problem. They survive it on a daily basis. And so can you!

279 Responses to “How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work”

  1. Ashley

    15. Mar, 2012

    I’ve been dating the love of my life for four years. We had to go to separate colleges that are about 4 hours away and we see each other maybe once a month. No its not easy, but it is completely worth it. Whats a few years compared to a lifetime of being with the one you love?

    For me, it’s all worth it.

  2. Love2Love

    15. Mar, 2012

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 8 months now. We met online, and still have not met each other face to face. I am 18, and he is 28. He lives across the ocean from me in Algeria, while I am in the US. We talk on skype almost everyday, but with the 5 hour time difference, and the fact that he works, we only get to talk a few hours a day.. which to me is better than none. The only reason we are not together is because I am having financial problems because i do not have a job atm and any money i do have or get goes to support my 2 year old daughter… Some call it crazy, because we haven’t met face to face, but i love him, and he loves me. & we desperately want to be with each other, I don’t need advice, i just wanted to get that off my chest.

  3. Zoe

    17. Mar, 2012

    I’m in a long distance relationship now. I’m 20. I live in London and he lives in Scotland. We met online 6 years ago and have been “e pals” since, supporting each other through every relationship we both had but being jealous over it in the past. Then this past November, when I broke up with my long term boyfriend that treated me like crap….We met up 3 days later, he came to visit me in London – I was a mess because I was so upset and his comfort was amazing but I couldn’t think of him as anything else but a friend at the time. But then a day later when it came to him leaving, I couldn’t handle the thought of it – we kissed and I knew how I felt about him. I got butterflies for the first time and when he left I just felt empty. It’s like being in that “honeymoon phase”. Now it’s March – so we’ve been seeing each other 5 months and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Distance really is hard at the best of times, but the key is communication and trust. I’m trying to build my trust again but it’s hard because my ex betrayed it – but if he’s a good enough guy (which he is- and I hope your partner is too) then he will wait and try to build it with you. In the future he plans to move to London to move in with me. We’re seeing each other next in 2 weeks and I can’t be more excited. There is hope, guys. Stick at it, happy LDR’s :-)

  4. Caroline

    18. Mar, 2012

    I am in a long distance relationship even though I haven’t been able to see him for nearly a year. He says he loves me and how he wants to be able to spend as much time together as possible but I’m not sure I feel the same way because I can’t fall in love with the idea of someone. Can anyone give me advice because I don’t want to hurt him but I don’t want to hurt myself by lying to myself…

  5. Aleh

    18. Mar, 2012

    I have been in a long distance relationship for about 4 years now, yes there has been ups and downs. It is very hard, but I love him and no one can change that. The only obstacle now, is actually meeting him. People think that this is very weird, considering I have been with him for 4 years and still haven’t seen him. I think that it is meant to be, lasting 4 years in a regular relationship is hard, but a long distance relationship is so much harder. Hopefully, this year will be the year when I can finally tell him face to face that I love him. I can’t wait.

  6. EmilyK

    18. Mar, 2012

    I met my man when he was here in CA on vacation from Australia. We met on his 3rd to last day in America. 3 days was all it took to know. I dropped him off at the airport, we hugged and kissed forever I and burst into tears as soon as that elevator door closed.
    I am visiting him in May and he is coming back here in July. and then…
    My dog and I are MOVING to Australia to be with him and his son in September!!!
    It helps to at least have a date when you KNOW you will be able to see each other again and never have to part. Long distance relationships do not work if the distance never ends.

  7. Andy

    19. Mar, 2012

    I am currently in a long distance relationship. We know each other since I was born, our parents met when they were 15 years old. He is 2 years older than me. I am 22. We lived in Guatemala and he was my first boyfriend when I was 12 years old. When I was 15 I was sexually abused and my parents decided to move here, to the U.S.
    We were separated and because of my embarrasment, I dissapeared. He sent me emails that I never replied to, he asked my father about me only. After about 5 years, I accepted his request on fb and it all started there, everything was just there and every feeling too! I was afraid of starting this relationship because everyone thought it was pointless and immature but we did it! We have been together for 17 months! He has tried unsuccesfully to get a visa so we continue to be patient and having faith, although it is getting harder each time, we are very determined to be together! we do blackberry to blackberry messenger and skype every single day! From the min we wake up till we fall asleep again and we never go to sleep without an “I love you” and a “good night”
    This is very tough! We really want to be together but, we seem to be alone in this! :(

  8. Pupai

    19. Mar, 2012

    I am not sure if LDR will work for me. I am inlove with a guy who taught me how to love again, showed me respect and made me feel that after all I went through, I deserve to be loved without any conditions. He erally wants me to be his girlfriend but he is about to go so Middle East this week. He will work there for two years. I really want to be in a relationship with him but I fear that what we have that is beautiful might fade as distance and time pass by. I am scared. Should I fight for it or wait for the right time? Please help. Thanks.

  9. HH

    19. Mar, 2012

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 3.5 years now and we are now engaged and still going strong. We were apart for 2years straight the first time and now it’s been 9 months since we last saw each other. He works in Saudi Arabia and I’m studying and living in Canada….were hoping to get married next year….it’s been a bumpy road and I likely won’t see him for another 5 months atleast…and I admit sometimes the distance makes me second guess my decision…but I know its worth in the end. We’ve been good friends for 8 years, I love him so much and I’d do anything to see him again now. My advice is: Communication, communication, communication. Be patient, don’t read between the lines and dont mistake business/lack of time (due to time difference for example) for carelessness or lack of love. If you trust each other, trust that it’s all for the best and dont make big breakup decisions while far apart. It’s not easy, but if you conquer this, you can conquer anything. Goodluck, I’m glad im not alone.

  10. wezeka

    20. Mar, 2012

    Am also in a LDR nd it feels gud 2 knw dat am nt alone nd I cn relate 2 sum of de comments here. I met my bf through a friend, nd we fell inlove, he is in KZN Bergville nd am in Eastern Cape, Alice. We love each other so much bt its nt easy to stay without him. We visit each other anytym we get a chance. I pray to God every day to keep our Realationship nd I knw he will help us

  11. temitope

    21. Mar, 2012

    Well I think a long distance relationship can workout when there’s enough trust and patience

  12. bie

    22. Mar, 2012

    Im married to an american guy for 4 yrs now,since 2008..LDR kills me so bad..his not home for almost 2 yrs.im from phillipines,but we talk like once a week for me its not enough but i have to understand due to time difference(13 hrs different)and his working and im studieng.not much calls or txt, msgs.because its too expensive we only communicate through YM..i was worried if he still loves me..i loved him so much and i miss him so bad..need some advice..thank you and Godbless!

  13. Aine135

    23. Mar, 2012

    I’v been in a long distance relationship for about a yr now. We met where I live, in Ireland at a music festivel. 1 day with eachother was all it took and it was not just love at first sight but an instant understanding. I have had quit a hard up bringing and could never open up to any1, but with him we had an instant connection. He went back to England and the txts, phone calls and skype began everyday. We see eachother about once a month but we find it so difficult to let eachother go at the airport. When I am in England I feel like I’m home and so the decision to change my whole life for him has not come lightly. Next month I am preparing myself to pack up my whole world as I know it to begin a life with the one I love. I never believed in love at first sight or that ppl who got married after a short relationship could actually work, but I’m so glad I now know it can happen and it has happened to me. I call him my angle because he came along at point in my life when things were so tough and transformed me back into the happy fun loving person I am, he brings out the best in me and for that I am thankful.

  14. Joel

    24. Mar, 2012

    LDRs work. It’s a beautiful thing. You learn patience and trust. It’s not easy, but everyday, you are made stronger – as individuals and as a couple. When you see each other, you’ll realize everything’s worth it. When you really love the person, you’ll see no other choice but wait, and keep waiting, to be with the one you love in the end. And it will be worth it still.

  15. Danielle

    26. Mar, 2012

    My boyfriend lives 991 miles away from me. He is in the army and we have dated before. he wemt to the same highschool as myself and were high school Sweet hearts. We were originally together for 2years. After he left for the army the stress of it broke us. We were apart for 2yrs and i now have a daughter with another man. My boyfriend had gotten married as well. After our relationships failed we both realized that we were still in love with eachother. Weve been back together for 2 months and as much as the distance pains us, we skype twice a week and call every night. We talk of the future n how our day was. I dont mind the distance so much because its OUR relationship and it doesnt have the drama of a normal relationship. We also have something to look forward too and get excited about which is when he comes home to visit and when my daughter and i go visit him. Weve learned to focus on the positives of our relationship instead of the distance and so far, we couldnt be happier!!

  16. Howard

    26. Mar, 2012

    I am also in a long distance relationship

    We Met at Xmas last year after being with her for 3 months she had to go to australia for uni and this is only her first year in uni I got 3 more yeas for this before I can be with her day in day out. She is such a lovely girl and I love her, I gave up a alot just to be with her. But now she is away and only coming back once a year I don’t know how I can cope with this. I still love very much and I miss her loads. I guest I’m not getting used to this is because my last gf lived with me though out my uni years and I am too used to haveing someone next to me.
    I can’t go over to see her because I don’t have much spear money and I am working everyday.
    Ive been to uni and I know how it’s like, she meets new boys everyday and She is a popular Gil’s anywhere she goes especially around boys.
    This got me a bit crazy and started calling her more than 20 times a day.
    I know I can’t go on like this I really need to find a balance and give her her freedom.

    Just talking about her here makes me miss her right n

  17. minty

    29. Mar, 2012

    i’m in ldr for nearly 4 years. We meet while working in same company project. We meet each once a year. He live in different country n me too. We supposed to tie the knot this year bt sadly hv to reschedule because of some matter. I bit demotivated bt since our feeling love are vry strong. We still working out toward our goal. Hope it will turn out well. I miss him badly every sec of my life. We talk evryday on skype, call n sometime through office chat. We never been away more than a day. I not sure how to live without him… Evrytime we meet, it like u again n again on first date. But u value n love each other so much during that time. I wish we be together someday.

  18. Jessie

    02. Apr, 2012

    im in a LDR ive been in it for 11 months and its so hard. My boyfriend is abit technically challanged so he has no idea how to use skype and the internet he barely knows how to use facebook but none of that matters. We speak everyday on the phone, and try to video call each other on the phone a few times a week, at first seeing him on video call was really hard an id cry everytime, but its not so bad now. The biggest issue is trust you have to put alot of faith in them, and commnicate everyday. He makes me feel lloved everyday, and have phone sex, you might think its stupid but itll make u feel so much closer, and it will get what turns u both on and improve your sex life when you do see each other. Just maintain communication, and if you do fight dont go to sleep without fixing the problems or saying goodnight to each other.

  19. Hislady12

    03. Apr, 2012

    Lovebirds arising.. Yes all here are of the SAME feather, LDR!
    Its worth every sleepless night, every “day dreamin n Im thinkin of you” kinda day…staring out into la la land, hand n hand with that special beloved one. I too hold in my heart, the the love of my life, whom at different seasons of our lives, were together living in the same location. We were truly separated by fate on both sides of the fence. But now, as of our reuniting last year our love for each other is “stronger than steel”. It is very alive and breathes new hope in us more n more each day! For us. .its the temporary absence of a home..sufficient employment and travel expenses that we desperately need to bring us together once more. We believe 3rd time is the charm! Although now there is about 3000 miles between us, we keep hope alive that its only temporary. ..the sheer thought of that moment we’re finally face to face again,is the fabric n joy of our very being. We both remain positive as we can keeping busy until that long anticipated day..so i say TRUE LOVE is worth it Lovebirds…don’t give up on that very unique very special one. .If you know in your heart..you are destined for him or her. Love is precious and rarely do we find it in its true form. Cherish the opportunity, be patient, true to yourself, and reap the benefits of beautiful things manifesting themselves. .for you and your LDR! “Hold on”!

  20. NenaBear

    04. Apr, 2012

    I have known my soldier for 8 years. He was my best friend growing up, and everytime we tried to get together something always went wrong. In January I up and moved to Arizona with his family, he was on leave at the time, and it just happened. Three days later he was on a plane flying 900 miles away. It’s so hard at times not having him here, but I’ve wanted this for 8 years I refuse to give up because he’s not here physically. 239 more days, God please make them fly. Stay strong Ladies and Gents… I’m so sure it’s possible to keep them going. <3

  21. anshika

    04. Apr, 2012

    hi my husband is merchat navy officer and he goes on ship for 6 months and stay at home for 6 months, its really very difficult to stay without him for 6 months but for me.. time is not worthed because evrytime when we see eachother after a half year we remains very happy n full of our true love, everything gets renew in 6 months and we go for a new honeymoon everytime, we celebrate our first night all over again and believe me that moment becomes the most amazing and desirable moment of our life… we are living happily ever after

  22. joe

    04. Apr, 2012

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship for almost an entire year now. My girlfriend and I started dating when she was a senior in college while I was a junior. 2 months after we started dating I moved in with her and maybe 5 months after that she graduated which meant she went back home and I went back home. Problem: We live 6 hours away from each other. Other problem: I haven’t graduated yet.

    We made plans to move in after my graduation but it turns out I’ll be graduating a semester later than expected. It is hard to be happy without each other. It is frustrating when we make plans to meet up and they fall apart for one reason or another. We used to see each other every 2 weeks but the last time I saw her was almost a month ago now. Currently we live 2.5 hours away since I’m in school now. I would love to live with her over the summer but I can’t live with her and her dad and she can’t leave her area because of her current job which she needs to pay off student loans.

    I am in love with my girlfriend and I really want this to work out. I have never had a better time in my life than when I was living with her during her senior year. I am (was) upset that we didn’t just try to live together after she graduated but I can understand why she wouldn’t want to sacrifice her safety at home just to live with me. I haven’t slept with anyone but her since we started dating and I’m sure she’s done the same because we have a good degree of trust within each other. When we do see each other it’s blissful and wonderful and there’s nobody I know who can make me happier.

    We struggle through frustration but we are hopeful and expectant of each other. We expect each other to be there for each other while we are hopeful for our expectations about the future. After I graduate in december I would like to live with her. I know we can last through to december and I know it will be worth it if we do but I’m just scared.

    I’m scared that we’re wasting our time being exclusive if we end up breaking up and I’m scared that not only her feelings will be hurt but mine will be hurt as well. I’m scared that nothing we can do will make it work although we try so hard to do just that. I’m scared that I’m not doing enough and I’m scared that I can’t ever do enough.

    But through all my fright I manage to have confidence not only in her but also in myself and in our relationship. I don’t think I’ll have to eat my words. I know she’ll be there for me when I’m upset and I would be there for her too, it just sucks that being there doesn’t actually mean being physically there, it means something else. I hate disappointing her but sometimes it is hard to avoid, all I know is we are working at it and we are trying to make it work. I’m sad to say it but she does more for me than I do for her. She sends me things when I’m feeling blue, she always buys me things I like and she always comes to visit me and she pays for me when we go out. I feel so badly that I can’t do for her all the things she does for me because I really do love her and I really do want her to know that I love her. She deserves a person who can do all these things and more but I haven’t been able to reciprocate. It’s hard for me to even be able to see her on her birthday and it makes me so upset…

    We’ll be 1 year LDRS in June after a 7 month spree of basically spending every moment together. It was such a huge difference not having anyone in bed when I would get home, but I guess I’ve gotten used to it. I would much rather go home to her waiting for me or her come home to me waiting but sometimes things don’t work out the way you want.

    I just know that if and when we do get back to living with each other it will be exponentially easier and so much stress would be lifted from each of our backs. I just want to graduate and spend the rest of my life with her and be happy, no matter what I do. It’s hard to find a lot of things to make me happy when I constantly am saddened by her absence…But I do manage to find happiness. This is all I can do, that and know that I do have someone who also has me.

  23. john

    05. Apr, 2012

    Its hard she hasn’t even moved yet we been together for over 2 years, she keeps crying every time she thinks about her ( she is in her mind 20s and got the internship she needs to complet her resediency) I got accepted to a school in cail and my program is 3 years. I don’t know what to expect it seems like 2 years is forever for me she will be across the country for a long time I feel as tho if we can over come this we can conquer life together any thoughts?

  24. Rita

    06. Apr, 2012

    I’m in a long distance relationship, and it will be 5 months later this April :) We met online about 3 years ago and we’ve been friends ever since, but he was in another relationship at the time for the first couple years we knew each other. I have always felt a weird connection between the two of us, but I didn’t do anything about it because he was in another relationship (ironically another LDR one.)
    They broke up last summer, and we started dating about 5 months ago. I met him for the very first time face to face in February when I went to Disneyland in California around where he lives. He went to Disneyland the same day as I. We met and it was absolutely amazing. The best day I’ve ever had. We shared a beautiful first kiss and many more that day, and we clicked instantly. I was so relieved, it was amazing and everyday I try to relive that day. That made us so much closer and now we feel like anything is possible.

    There have been frustrating moments in the relationship; trust issues, missing each other, being bored with the relationship, etc. but that’s just what comes with all LDR’s and I’ve realized that I need to accept that if I want to be with my boyfriend. I can see me falling in love with him one day, and I don’t want to ruin something like this just because I am impatient and frustrated with the miles between us. One day we will be together and that day will be SO worth all the pain and tears.

    So to all you LDRs, do NOT give up. :) It will be very worth it one day when you get to be in your lover’s arms forever. Keep working at it, it may not always be easy, but nothing good ever comes easy. Remember that.

  25. Ben

    06. Apr, 2012

    Wasn’t there supposed to be advice on how to make long distance relationships work somewhere in that article?

  26. Melissa

    08. Apr, 2012

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship for like 2 years now. We met online and talked for about a year. Then finally I gave him my number and we started texting each other from the min we woke up to the min we fell asleep. He lives in Arizona and I live in Illionis, and we haven’t met face-to-face yet, sadly. But we are still determined to meet each other, and since he is going into college this summer and I’m just going into high school, it’s been a bit hard. But I love him and he loves me just as much and we are gonna make it work

  27. mattie

    09. Apr, 2012

    i love my toby kinz its oly been a few weeks and im not da ldr type i cant handle it fir very ling cause i miss huggin ane bein closr to em i mean we net in 4th grade and now were graduatin colledge i cant bear to be with out him doso wat do i do

  28. Rachelle

    14. Apr, 2012

    I’ve been in long distance relationship for over 10 months now.. We been through rough road.. We fight sometimes everyday and its always my jealous attitude and communication issues. There are times that i think that im only wasting my time? thinking, is this worth a shot? Will he eventually cheat on me? He had cheated on me first 2 months of relationship and admitted to me eventually.. and after that, our relationship turned even more deeper and serious, its been 10 months, And he only see me on picture.. well 1 time on cam and do sent him some videos of me… And i do see him quite sometimes on webcam. We do phone sex, yes! I need and we need to pleasure each other for our needs so that we wont find those needs in other people and ended up cheating… I have thought of giving up soo many times.. I left my career and picked him. totally giving my whole life right now not knowing if it will even work… But, how would i know if i wont give it a shot?? And every time im close to giving up.. I always tell my self… Can i leave a day without my daily routine? which is hear him everyday… And i cant… I love him dearly.. And I am taking this challenge and gambling my whole life wishing this long distance relationship will work and we be forever together and it will be wothit! :) .

  29. Elaine

    15. Apr, 2012

    hi, i need help, ive ben seeing a guy for about a month now…hes told me he loves me and i told him i love him…but now hes having to go work away down south monday to friday..im a bit panicked as ive never had to do this and the relationship is so new…will this be a good thing? im really worried and sad :( x

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